After months and months of planning, we finally arrived in Mazatlan last Tuesday, November 5th. As I write this, it's been a week and, overall, it's been amazing. I'm currently sitting on our deck around 4:45pm while Carter and Sam attend a birthday party nearby. This time of day is incredible. The temperature is perfect and there's usually a gentle breeze as the sun starts its descent.
We live in a condo building that sits next to the hole 3 fairway of the golf course that snakes its way around the homes in the neighborhood. It's a 4 storey building and we are on floor 3. Only 7 units in total in our building so it's pretty quiet. It's in a large gated community that has houses, townhouses and condos throughout. A lot of Sam's friends live within the same community too which is very nice. A couple of her friends, Elo and Maria Jose, have helped us a ton during our first week. Driving us around the city to grab groceries, household supplies, take Carter to his padel lessons and so much more. We will eventually get ourselves a car but, for now, they've been super helpful!
This is my view as I write this blog
This escape to Mexico was largely driven by my personal need to pause my life and break free from the routine of everyday life at home (as I wrote in my last blog post). Sam, as always, has been supportive and I know she enjoys connecting again (in person) with many of her friends. However, she's here because of me. And Carter? Well he's 8 so he didn't get a ton of say into this decision but the impact it might have on him weighs heavily on my mind. While I'm personally ecstatic that I've made it here and accomplished something I've aimed to do for a long time, I feel a heavy burden to ensure this selfish desire to escape doesn't negatively impact Sam and Carter along the way.
It's hard to know what might help an 8-year-old heal when he loses his little sister. For the most part, he seems to be handling the loss in a way that any adult would be envious of. He's found this beautiful balance between honouring and loving his sister, Sofia, while steadfastly continuing on his own journey through life. He's a super happy kid and he has a lust for life that inspires us all. Even our grief counsellor has shared how impressed she is with his maturity and ability to strike that perfect balance in his grief. When I considered this temporary move to Mexico, I worried how the move might disrupt his healing. His ability to cope with the loss has been so heavily influenced by the incredible support network he relies on at home. His friends in the neighbourhood and at school, his teacher and our friends and family nearby. This concern weighed on me significantly. So what stands out to me the most about our first week here is realizing that Carter, too, might benefit from this escape just as much as me - perhaps for different reasons though.
Carter and I have spent so much time together this week. We've been to the pool more times than I can count, we've played catch on the golf course after the golfers finish for the day, we've buried each other in the sand, we've skipped his squishy ball through the waves of the ocean, we've played ipad games together, we've gone exploring, we've learned a new sport, watched movies at night, and so much more. Mostly, though we've just been together - much more than our normal life would allow. And I think it's been really good for both of us. And he's having so much fun here. He's joined a padel club (padel is kind of a mix of tennis and squash) and is starting golf lessons tomorrow. The kids here have been so kind to him and most of them speak english which has helped Carter feel more comfortable. I'm so grateful for this time with him and I'm so happy to see him enjoying himself as much as he has.
This time that Sam and I have with Carter on our own away from home has been more impactful than I had ever considered it could be. It's such a gift to spend such meaningful time with him at such an important moment in all our lives. An opportunity for us all to heal. TOGETHER.
Carter at his first padel class. His teacher, Mattias, was extremely impressed. A lot of the kids in the class spoke english and they all went out of their way to help Carter feel welcome.
ENJOY The sand sun and surf that heals your Soul xo
ReplyDeleteLove reading your updates Ryan. It takes a lot of strength and commitment to turn your feelings into reality. I hope this time away brings your family closer together and helps with some of the healing. In our short time working together you were always smiling. Keep smiling man!
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