Magic Didn't Last

To those that know me best, they will not be surprised in the slightest that the focus of an early blog post of mine is Dermot Kennedy . Dermot is an Irish singer/songwriter I first discovered in 2017. At the time, he had not yet released an album and only a few songs were available on Apple Music. By the time 2018 had finished, 7 of my top 10 most listened to songs of that year were Dermot Kennedy songs. He'd release his first album in late 2019, another in late 2022 and hopefully a third very soon. Sam and I first saw him perform in a small theatre in the University District of Seattle in November 2018. There couldn't have been more than 100 people there that night. Our last time seeing him was May 2023 in front of a sold out Rogers Arena crowd. It's cool to feel like we've witnessed his growth as an artist but his increase in popularity is not surprising at all. He's no doubt impacted many people through his music as he has me. And that impact is what I want to...

Yesterday was Father's Day. Many more people than usual reached out to me with messages and wishes for a Happy Father's Day. I'm sure most of them presumed yesterday would have been a hard day for me. It was my first Father's Day since Sofia passed away, after all. A reasonable assumption to be sure but, yesterday was not hard. Or at least no harder than the day before; or the day before the day before. Yesterday, instead, was filled mostly with gratitude. I had spent the day before, on Saturday, with Carter and Sam in Seattle enjoying Carter's first ever MLB game. It was a perfect day and it was so nice to get away together for a weekend in between Carter's spring baseball season ending and his summer all star season starting. Yes I do recognize the irony in taking a break from baseball by going to... another baseball game. Carter had so much fun and I really enjoyed talking to him during the game about the players on each team and speculating on what strategie...

For those who have been in my life for a while, they will know I am not one to often share my feelings or emotions. I'm reserved, a bit of an introvert, and mostly just very uncomfortable being vulnerable with others. So why would I start a blog with an intent to openly share how I'm feeling with anyone who happens to find this page? And to do it now when my loss is still so raw and the grief so intense? Well, this first attempt to be vulnerable and share openly will help explain why. While there are a few contributing factors to how I got here, it started the morning of April 13th, 2024. I had taken the elevator at Children's Hospital from the oncology ward on floor 8 to the lobby and was on my way to grab Starbucks for myself, Sam, Carter, and Sofia. We had been admitted to the hospital a few days earlier, but I hadn't yet had a chance to tell my Dad about the news that Sofia was nearing the end of her life. My Dad and my stepmom, Ginny, were just about to start a cru...