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From Pain to Purpose

It was around 3 o’clock on Saturday—just a couple of hours into an event I’d been planning for nearly a year. The park was full—kids were running and laughing, parents were smiling and chatting, and the energy in the air felt perfect. Our rock painting table was a hit, and the Dream Party hero characters had just arrived, drawing even more excitement. Our first scheduled attraction, though, had just finished: face painting with Sam’s sister, Consuelo, and her daughter Raine. Consuelo and Raine went above and beyond. They brought joy, patience, and magic to every child who sat in their chairs. Not only did they do a phenomenal job, but they stayed longer than they had promised, making sure every little face that wanted to be transformed got their turn. I took a moment to thank Consuelo for everything, and as we embraced, I felt something I hadn’t felt in almost two years: a deep, powerful sense of relief. Relief is not something you feel while your child is battling cancer. Even on the ...
Recent posts

Arizona / One Year

Usually, when I sit down to write one of these, I have a clear sense of purpose — a theme that's been sitting with me, something I need to get out. Writing is often the final release that lets me move forward. But this time is different. There’s no single thread tying it all together. Just a lot on my mind, and maybe I’m hoping that getting the words out will help me move through it. Hope In Every Spot I want to start with an update on our “ Hope In Every Spot ” event. We’re six weeks out, and honestly, we're feeling really good about where things stand — especially considering this is our first time fundraising in Sofia’s honor. If you read my last blog or follow me on Instagram, you already know the heart behind this: we're raising money and collecting donations to give thousands of dollars worth of toys, activities, and gift cards to children and families battling cancer at BC Children’s Hospital — just like Sofia once did. Since announcing the event, we’ve had an Amazon...

Hope in Every Spot

Even in the earliest days of Sofia being sick, it was clear to me that I needed to do more with my own time on earth.  As I spent more days at Children's Hospital, that feeling only grew stronger. I saw incredible people selflessly volunteering their time for kids and families they had never met, and I knew I wanted to do the same. A pet therapy program where people volunteer their time to bring their dogs to the hospital to provide some much needed comfort to kids (and their parents) Therapy clowns named Fizzie and Cosmo would visit a couple days a week. They could make Sofia laugh like no one else The Child Life volunteers, often teenagers and young adults, volunteered their time to play with the kids in hospital or their siblings. Carter must have done at least 100 scavenger hunts with these incredible people Smoothie Sundays where volunteers from West Coast Kids Cancer Foundation would whip up super tasty smoothies in the T8 kitchen for patients, family members and staff I...

Our Retreat to Mazatlan, Challenges and Finding Purpose

It's taken me so long to write this. In fact, it's been over two months since I last wrote anything. Writing has always been therapeutic for me, and I certainly have a lot to say. However, I've come to realize that writing about what's on my mind is often the final step in my process of moving forward. I can't seem to put my thoughts into words until I'm relatively certain I'm ready to release whatever has been lingering in my mind. While my time away with Samantha and Carter brought us so much good, it also challenged me in unexpected ways. Recently, I’ve struggled to find my way out of a valley of grief and depression, which explains the long delay in writing. Even though I still have work to do, I feel like I’m starting to show signs of improvement. I'm hopeful that putting some of this into words will help push me further toward optimism and healing. Samantha, Carter, and I left for Mexico on November 5th and returned to Canada on January 18th—75 day...

Life happens fast

For those who know Sam and me well, it will come as no surprise that Sam took a ton more photos and videos than I did—especially videos! For whatever reason, I’ve never been one to capture videos, and I rarely watch back the few that I have taken. I’m more the type to enjoy a school play in the moment rather than view it through my phone’s camera. But boy, am I grateful Sam had a different approach. She took thousands of photos and videos of Carter and Sofia. Many of those are now the most precious gifts I have—memories I can replay forever. One of the first things I did after Sofia passed away was go through all of Sam's photos from 2020-2024 and pull out my favorite ones of Sofia. Sam, like most people, backs up her photos to iCloud, but I needed to have these special photos saved in more than one place. It would take me weeks to go through over 10,000 photos. I selected many of them for the slideshow we played at Sofia’s Celebration of Life. The task of sorting through that many...

Signs from Sofia

Since Sofia passed away, I’ve been exposed to an abundance of people who are grieving the loss of their loved ones. Either directly, through stories I’ve heard or things I’ve read. I’ve also been quite active trying to work on my own grief too. I’ve interacted with a grief counsellor, I’ve read books, listened to podcasts, watched videos and, very recently, joined a group session organized by Canuck Place. One of the most common behaviours I’ve observed among grieving individuals is their deliberate avoidance of visual reminders of their loss, which could potentially trigger emotional distress. For some, that might look like removing pictures in their house. For others, it might be avoiding places or people where memories are their most intense. It’s rational behaviour if you ask me. Even if you’re not grieving a loved one, everyone likely has a tendency to find ways to avoid things that might cause pain. Yet, for whatever reason, it hasn’t been my path. Instead, I’ve found myself putt...

First Week in Mazatlan / Carter

After months and months of planning, we finally arrived in Mazatlan last Tuesday, November 5th. As I write this, it's been a week and, overall, it's been amazing. I'm currently sitting on our deck around 4:45pm while Carter and Sam attend a birthday party nearby. This time of day is incredible. The temperature is perfect and there's usually a gentle breeze as the sun starts its descent.  We live in a condo building that sits next to the hole 3 fairway of the golf course that snakes its way around the homes in the neighborhood. It's a 4 storey building and we are on floor 3. Only 7 units in total in our building so it's pretty quiet.  It's in a large gated community that has houses, townhouses and condos throughout. A lot of Sam's friends live within the same community too which is very nice. A couple of her friends, Elo and Maria Jose, have helped us a ton during our first week. Driving us around the city to grab groceries, household supplies, take Carte...